how to heal (sawyer)

[arielle]

Arielle stood, looking at the blank canvas before her. She'd tried various things to get her mind off of everything, and this was one of the ones she hadn't tried. Therapy wasn't helping much, and they didn't want her near things that could potentially be used to harm herself. The protocol for cases like hers was to place her on suicide watch for half of the time that she was held captive. It was ridiculous, because Arielle didn't have any desire to harm herself, but she wasn't going to argue. She had a month left before she could do the things she loved.

Until that time, she was stuck in the house, doing whatever it was that was deemed safe. That meant listening to music or learning an instrument or reading. Writing was a no-no, unless she was carefully supervised, and the same went for drawing. Painting, however, was safe. Arielle wasn't sure how her parents were deeming what was safe and what wasn't, but she wasn't going to argue with them. They only wanted what was best for her, and she didn't blame them. Especially her father. He'd lost both of his parents during the First Wizarding War in much the same fashion that he almost lost her, and Arielle knew that obeying him was the best thing she could possibly do for his old heart.

Still, the brunette had no desire to paint. She was in clothes that she could paint, with various jewelry on her body that her mother swore could heal her. It was all about healing her, and it was getting frustrating. Arielle kept her mouth silent, of course, wanting nothing but her parents' happiness. As long as they were happy and feeling secure, Arielle would be pleased. She turned to face the blank canvas, paint brush in hand. There were buckets of paint in various colors at her feet. Sighing, she plopped onto the couch, resting her head against its back. All she wanted was to be back outside with her plants and flowers. That, and she wanted to see Sawyer. But, that would all come with time.

"Ari, babygirl, there's someone here for you," her mother called. Arielle sat up, biting her lip and watching the door. Who could it be? She hadn't gotten many visitors, other than Sawyer and Noelle, but Noelle was busy with Quidditch and Sawyer had gone on a mission to save Persephone. Surely it was neither of them...

Arielle's Outfit

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[sawyer]

Sawyer was exhausted, the mission to rescue Persephone had been successful, but it had been bloody, there had been a few casualties, and a good number of them had gotten injured. He himself was a little beat up, but he was one of the luckiest ones. He was still standing, escaping with just a few cuts and bruises. The full healer had wanted him to take another day to rest in bed, but Sawyer hadn't been able to do that. He'd be coming by the Longbottom's as often as he could to see Arielle, she did seem to be recovering physically, but he worried about her.

Her parents were particularly overbearing at the time, Sawyer couldn't say that he blamed them, though he felt she could do with a little freedom. But Mr. and Mrs. Longbottom liked him well enough, so he was allowed over. Actually, they seemed to adore him, likely as they knew that he was the one to bring their daughter back to them. He apparated to just off their property before walking up to the doorstep and knocking. Sawyer knew of the enchantments, otherwise he might let himself in, but the Longbottoms weren't keen on sharing how to disable them, and Sawyer wasn't going to pry.

It was Mrs. Longbottom who answered, greeting him with a hug, which he awkwardly returned before she dragged him inside and demanded what he had done to himself. Sawyer dismissed it with a casual "Order business," and she let the matter drop before calling Arielle. Sawyer grinned when Arielle walked into the room, he knew he was haggard-looking, he hadn't slept much the previous night, and even after fixing himself up, he was still covered in the ghosts of bruises and cuts, the deeper of which were scabbed. But he had been worse, a lot worse.

"Hey," said Sawyer, smiling, and going right in for a hug, only with her it didn't feel awkward. He kept it brief, however, he had learned to let Arielle initiate contact for the most part. The last thing he wanted to do was bring up painful memories.

[arielle]

"Hey."

Arielle resisted the urge to launch herself into Sawyer's arms as he rounded the corner. She smiled widely as he enveloped her in his arms. He smelled wonderfully, and she couldn't help but nuzzle closer to him. However, he pulled away much too soon, leaving her feeling a bit empty inside. Right. She forgot about the quickened pulse and the skittish tendencies that she had been prone to since her escape from the hellhole she had been prisoner in for half a year. She didn't want to think about the way a man's touch made her cringe.

However, Sawyer was different. Her father and Sawyer were the only two men that she had grown accustomed to enough to allow them to touch her in any way. She knew that she couldn't trust others, but she knew her attackers, knew that the men who had done awful things to her had been Death Eaters, knew that she would be tortured in all different forms when she had been kidnapped. Maybe that mental preparation for it had lessened the post traumatic stress that came along with being a victim of unmistakable violence and cruelty.

Shaking her head slightly, Arielle stepped back, looking Sawyer over. "Are you alright? How was... you know..." she asked quietly, looking at him with concern. She bit her lip as she awaited his response, knowing full well that somewhere on his skin were cuts and bruises. She wondered briefly if the three thick scars still graced his back from the last rescue mission he'd been on. Biting her lip, Arielle allowed her gaze to falter from his for a moment. She still felt guilty about that. She should have been the one to get hit with that curse, not him. Still, he had healed and they were both alive, and that's all that mattered.

Of course, there was the matter of their first kiss, that same night. Arielle wondered if Sawyer thought about it as much as she had. He hadn't tried to initiate anything afterwards, and Arielle was afraid that she had overstepped something. Still, she'd secretly starting making leaps in her therapy towards physical affection. Granted, there wasn't much that she could do in the way of practice, but she still felt as though she was ready to try again. That was, of course, if Sawyer was just as up for it as she was. Despite everything, Arielle couldn't ignore the pull that she had towards her best friend, both emotionally and physically...

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[sawyer]

Sawyer didn't miss the way that Arielle's features lit up when he came into the room, and really, he couldn't say that it hadn't made his ego inflate a little. She was glad to see him. He didn't exactly know what was going on between them ever since the kiss that they had exchanged after her rescue when they had been recovering in the Order safe-house together. While that kind of a kiss might generate awkwardness between other people, Sawyer didn't feel any of that, not so much as the feeling of being, well, almost stuck. He had loved her for so long, and wanted nothing more than for her to be his girlfriend...

But he didn't know if she was ready, and the last thing that Sawyer wanted to do was push anything. He cared for her so much, the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her, not when she had already seen well over her fair share of pain and suffering. "I'll leave you kids alone, call if you need anything," said Mrs. Longbottom, thankfully quitting the room. One might say that he had a way with Arielle's parents, while most might not trust two teenagers unsupervised, they didn't bat an eye if he and Arielle were alone together.

Of course, they knew the circumstances,they certainly weren't normal teenagers, far from it. Once Arielle asked her question, he peered around to corner to make sure that her mother really was gone. Others might shield her from what was going on, and while Sawyer might not divulge the more graphic details, he felt that Arielle at least deserved to know the truth. "Well, we got her back, and well, it went about as smoothly as you'd expect a full-on assault," said Sawyer.

"We've got a few in the hospital, two casualties, but it could have been a lot worse. And before you ask I'm fine," Sawyer continued, keeping his tone calm and level. He'd talk a little more about it if Arielle insisted, though there really wasn't much else to say, at least he didn't think so, he wasn't the type to launch into grandiose battle descriptions, he didn't like them, only participated if it was absolutely necessary. "But how are you?" asked Sawyer.

[arielle]

Arielle smiled softly at her mother's words. It was nice, knowing that her mother trusted her enough with Sawyer. He was the one person that her parents were alright with that wasn't kin. They weren't nearly as trustworthy with those other than Sawyer, and Arielle didn't blame them much. Still, she hadn't exactly been the social butterfly, so their suspicious nature as of late didn't affect her much. Sawyer was the only friend that mattered much. As he peered down the hall to check that the coast was clear, Arielle straightened up, waiting impatiently for his reply.

""Well, we got her back, and well, it went about as smoothly as you'd expect a full-on assault. We've got a few in the hospital, two casualties, but it could have been a lot worse. And before you ask I'm fine."

Arielle bit her lip, refraining from inquiring further. She didn't want to know the gritty details, knowing full well the horrors of what happened. Even with the extensive amounts of therapy, Arielle still couldn't get the images out of her head. They plagued her nights, her dreams turned sour forever. It would be much easier if she could wake up to the person that had saved her every night, but she kept that notion to herself. Frowning, she nodded. Arielle wanted to press, to check Sawyer's body for wounds, but she knew that would most likely only irritate him and worry her further. He was fine, he had to be, given the fact that he was here and capable of standing and hugging her without flinching or shifting his weight uncomfortably. Still, Arielle would be much happier if he would sit down...

"But how are you?"

Arielle flinched slightly at the question. "Better," she replied with a small smile. "A lot better, actually. Therapy, you know." Arielle looked over his shoulder at the big blank canvas hanging on the wall. "I'm not sure how much more I can take, really. The ridiculous, homeopathic jewelry, the dream catchers by my bed, the artistic outlets. I just want to go back outside and tend to my plants and my flowers. My garden's no doubt dead now. But, I can't. I'm off suicide watch soon, and I can't wait," she replied, looking back at Sawyer and smiling softly. "At least I have you."

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[sawyer]

Suddenly aware that he was still standing, Sawyer took a seat on the couch that was facing a blank canvas, on the floor before it were many open cans of paint in varying colours, but not a drop was on the canvas. It had been a long while since Sawyer himself had painted anything, or even picked up a pencil to sketch something. He was an artistic person by nature, and he did still manage to find leisure time between work and Order duties, though most of it was spent here with Arielle. And when he wasn't here, it was at home staring blankly at the wall, too exhausted to do laundry, let alone pick up a paintbrush.

As he had suspected, Arielle didn't ask for any more details. She knew how the Death Eaters were, she didn't need to be told exactly what they were capable of. Sawyer adjusted his position on the couch so Arielle would have the opportunity to nestle beside him if she wanted, but left enough space so that she didn't have to have contact with him if she was having a harder day. Sawyer did still watch her carefully, however, until she replied, insisting that she was getting better.

Good. He was able to see outward progress, though there were times where he couldn't help but worry, he wasn't inside Arielle's head, he didn't know how much, if any, healing was going on there. Sawyer did, however, smile when she finished her rant saying at least she had him. "It's not that much longer," Sawyer said encouragingly, "and I don't think any garden would survive this summer, unless it's a garden of cacti, the drought's bad and it's wicked hot, so you're not missing much with plants."

[arielle]

Arielle smiled as Sawyer took a seat, but she resisted the urge to take a seat next to him. While not the most artistic person on the face of the planet, she couldn't bear looking at the blank canvas much longer. However, the paintbrush felt incredibly foreign in her hand. She didn't want to paint, she wanted to tend to her garden. Still, she knew that it was virtually impossible, especially since she was on lock-down. It got a bit aggravating at times, but Arielle was still as sane as she could be, given the circumstances.

"It's not that much longer, and I don't think any garden would survive this summer, unless it's a garden of cacti, the drought's bad and it's wicked hot, so you're not missing much with plants."

Arielle approached the canvas, eying it thoughtfully, before looking over her shoulder and sticking her tongue out at Sawyer. "Be that as it may, I still am missing my garden. The roses, the lilies, the daisies especially. It's awful, Sawyer, I hate waiting," she replied, frowning slightly as she turned back to the canvas. Arielle eyed the paintbrush in her hand for a moment, before tossing it to the ground in the corner of the room. "Screw it, I don't need that. How's this for creative therapy, hmm?" she asked, looking over her shoulder at Sawyer with a grin before bending down, dipping one hand in sky blue paint, the other in a vat of a gentle, rosy pink, before standing. Paint dripping from her hands onto the plastic covering the carpet, she flicked paint onto the canvas, smiling as both colors dotted their way across the page. Arielle laughed, pressing her hands to the paper. "It's like finger painting for adults. C'mon, help me! You're better at this than I am!" Arielle called, smiling at Sawyer.

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[sawyer]

It looked like Arielle would not be joining him on the couch, and he had to admit that it was mildly disappointing, though he didn't allow it to register. Sawyer would wait forever for her if that was what it took, there wasn't anyone on the planet that mattered more to him. "I know," said Sawyer, sympathizing with her. Arielle had never been one content to be doing nothing, he knew that much, she needed to get her hands dirty. He made a mental note to bring some sort of potted plant over the next time he visited, so she would have something to tend to, that would feed her soul more than all the paint in the world.

Speaking of getting hands dirty, Sawyer smiled, lightly shaking his head as Arielle tossed aside the paintbrush, and with reckless abandon thrust her hands into two different colours of paint, shamelessly splattering it on the canvas before beckoning him to join her. Sawyer's smile widened, she looked a lot more like the Arielle he used to know, and he could have sworn he saw the spark in her eyes again. He got off the couch, not at all minding his clothes, and dipped his hands into paints as well, selecting green and an eggplant-y purple, and beginning to add his own markings to the nonsensical artwork.

[arielle]

Arielle grinned happily as Sawyer stood to join her. She watched as he delicately began adding to the artwork, and she smiled, watching him. He was a beautiful human being, and it was beautiful to see the way a simple canvas made his eyes light up and his smile widen, threatening to split his cheerfully handsome face in half. Arielle eventually picked up more paint and she began to splatter paint of various colors onto the paper, creating a crazy, abstract design. Biting her lip, she stood back, examining it. Before too long, she was engrossed in the painting, humming softly to herself.

The pair worked in silence for a long time. Arielle had always found silence to be incredibly comfortable between the two of them, but lately she'd been wanting more. The electricity in the air between them was obvious now, more obvious than it had ever been. Still, Arielle didn't know how to approach the subject. Standing there, shoulder-to-shoulder with her white knight, she wanted badly to be taken into his arms forever. Something about his embrace seemed so much safer than anyone else's. She'd never been suave with boys, only having been kissed the one time. She wanted more, and she didn't know how to get it.

Biting her lip, Arielle wiped her hands across her shirt and shorts, enjoying the colorful chaos. Gaining a mischevious glow in her eyes, she turned and splattered paint over Sawyer's skin and shirt. "Got you," she murmured softly, suddenly aware of their proximity to one another. She briefly glanced at his soft, supple lips, but brought her eyes back up to his with a bright smile.

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[sawyer]

Sawyer was beginning to lose himself in the art, normally he was a lot more... Methodical than this style, preferring to paint with a brush and create an actual image, rather than splattering on whatever colour he grabbed in an abstract pattern, but this was doing something for him. Perhaps it was because Arielle was enjoying herself so much, Sawyer hadn't seen her this happy since he had rescued her, and he, in turn, was able to let loose and enjoy himself, too. A comfortable silence had settled over them, and Sawyer was fine with it. It was like the days back at Hogwarts when they had played teacher's pet to the Herbology professor and had tended to the greenhouses on the weekend.

And while he was a fairly skilled herbologist, he remembered not being quite as good as Arielle, no matter how hard he tried. She was simply a natural, it was in her genes. After a while they both stopped grabbing and chucking paint, backing up a little to admire their creation. It was madness in a nutshell, thin streaks, giant splotches and tiny dots of every colour of the rainbow, sprawled across what had used to be plain white. In its own way, it was beautiful- sometimes art took itself too seriously, and this was the antidote for that.

Quite unexpectedly, Arielle turned playful, splashing him with a glob of blue, proclaiming that she had got him. Sawyer grinned, he could feel that magnetism again. Without even thinking, Sawyer leaned down and lightly kissed her, his hand (which he had conveniently forgotten was covered in multiple shades of paint) resting softly on the side of her face. Coming to his senses after a short moment, Sawyer pulled away, noting the smear of colour he had put on her cheek, and in being unable to resist the slight cheesiness added- "got you."

[arielle]

Arielle watched as Sawyer turned, smiling at her. She was pleased at the look on his face. Once more, she felt the electricity in the air, but she resisted the urge to kiss him. Regardless of her progress, she wasn't sure if that's what Sawyer wanted. They had professed their love and kissed one another, but that all had been in the heat of danger, while both were frail and weak. Arielle was afraid that none of it had been all that real. Just as she moved to turn back towards the canvas, Sawyer reached up, caressing her cheek.

Arielle's heart stopped as he close the distance, stooping down and pressing his lips to hers. It was brief, but that single kiss dissolved Arielle's whole world. She closed her eyes, leaning into his lips as time stood still. When he pulled away, she found herself unable to catch her breath. That had been the ultimate test. With the therapy and the secretive affection practice she'd been going through, she no longer felt frightened of contact, at least not with Sawyer. His smile turned into a playful grin and she felt the handprint on her cheek.

"Got you."

Arielle gave him a wry smile. "Yes, you do," she murmured. Without hesitation, Arielle closed the gap, bringing her hands, with their multitude of colors, to Sawyer's face and neck. She caressed his smooth skin, not worrying about where paint was getting as she stood on her toes to kiss him. Immediately, the world exploded with color, just as the canvas had. She saw stars and she was loving every second of it. No longer did she have to be afraid of contact, not with Sawyer. Kissing him was sheer bliss, feeling his skin under her touch was paradise. Arielle had never been happier.

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[sawyer]

The moment was brief, but it was enough to stir up a whole new wave of emotions within Sawyer, everything that he had felt toward Arielle since midway through fifth year bubbling up, and for once he allowed them to surface rather than suppressing them, knowing that he wasn't going to ruin the greatest friendship of his life. She wanted him the same way that he wanted her, and that was perhaps the greatest feeling in the world. Minding the difference in their heights, he kept bent over as Arielle inched closer to him, her paint-covered hands running along his face and neck, hardly noticing that she was coating him in an array of colours.

It was her to initiate their lips meeting again, and Sawyer felt a surge of the utmost bliss. She really was healing, and that was all he had wanted for her of late. Keeping bent down, Sawyer slid his own hands onto her waist, keeping Arielle in his arms, though kept his contact gentle and easily broken, allowing her every opportunity to pull away if she became uncomfortable- though a small portion in the corner of his mind told him that she wasn't going to do that, not just then.

Not wanting to stop the blissful contact, though also having something that he needed to say, Sawyer reluctantly broke the kiss. He stayed close, however, resting his forehead lightly against hers, his hands still at her waist. "I've loved you for years," said Sawyer, moving his hands to the small of her back, "please, be mine." They had confronted their feelings a few months ago, though now, Sawyer felt, was the time to act on them, make it official.

[arielle]

Arielle felt utter bliss as Sawyer kissed her back, hands finding their way to her waist. There was no doubt paint everywhere, but suddenly she didn't care. This was the most fun that Arielle had experienced since she'd been rescued, the happiest that she had been in a time that spanned much longer than the past few months. There was only thing that she wanted at that point, and he was right there, his lips pressed to hers. When he broke away, she smiled, opening her eyes and looking at him as he stood there, forehead resting against hers.

"I've loved you for years. Please, be mine."

Arielle smiled at Sawyer, pressing her hand to his cheek. "You'll always be my white knight, Sawyer. I love you. Yes. I'm yours. For always," she murmured, smiling softly before tilting her chin up to kiss him once more, sealing the deal once and for all. It was an amazing feeling. He had pined after her for a long time, had a crush on her for years, while her own feelings had been harboring. When they had the chance to be together, she had been taken from him.

Regardless of everything, Sawyer didn't rest when she was taken. Arielle knew that he fought hard to get her back. She loved him more than ever, missed him like crazy when she was locked away. He was her beacon of light, her ray of hope in the darkness. He had been what had kept her going for all those months. Now, finally, she could be with her hero. It was perfect.

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[sawyer]

Sawyer felt a wave of nervousness as he waited for Arielle's reply, he wasn't sure why, they had admitted their feelings on two separate occasions, surely she would more formally commit to him, though those had been heat of the moment, when they hadn't been sure what would come of them, adrenaline made people do things without thinking... No, he was putting too much thought into it, being silly, though he still couldn't help the nerves. Sawyer almost could have laughed when she finally did give him the affirmative answer, the moment feeling almost like a dream, it had been something he had desired for years.

Funny, how that worked, he had known when he was sixteen years old that he loved her, and now, only a little ways off from nineteen, here they were, finally together. Again their lips met, and Sawyer was quick to kiss back, bridling his utter enthusiasm to keep it soft and gentle, nothing imposing that might upset her, even if this was tremendous in terms of her recovery, to be able to have his arms around her, exchange kisses, and just generally have intimate contact. Sawyer switched his hands from the small of her back to the tops of her hips, but left the touching at that.

A small portion of him may have wanted to do more, but Sawyer first and foremost was a gentleman, even before the whole ordeal with Arielle being captured. Sure, he might have been romantically awkward then, more so than now, though he was always polite. It was amazing to share this sort of thing with the only girl he'd ever loved, Sawyer didn't even notice that they were putting about as much paint on each other as they had on the canvas, and the discomfort from hunching over for so long was nowhere near the front of his mind.